Living in Healthy Relationships

Weekly Word #14 ~ October, 2007

In the Toltec tradition, we say that awakened individuals are Artists of the Spirit, or artists of their lives. Using the tools of awareness and transformation, they deny the limiting beliefs and lies of the Old Dream based in fear, and embrace a more expansive dream of their place in the Divine perfection.

One of the most beautiful arts of the Toltec Artist of the Spirit is her relationships of all kinds—romantic partnerships, child and parent relationships, and those with friends and strangers. All relationships are based on agreements, and in the Old Dream those agreements are mostly fear-based, unspoken, and unconscious. Living in the Dream of Heaven on Earth gives the Eagle Warrior entirely new agreements for her relationships. Her new agreements are based on a love that expects no rewards, makes no bargains, holds no expectations, demands no conditions, and takes no hostages.

One of the most powerful agreements in the Old Dream says, “You should consider other people’s feelings before your own, and not do or say things that will hurt or upset them.” The eagle Warrior has broken that agreement as part of her journey on the Toltec path. Her new agreement affirms that her loyalty is to her own feelings and needs, and she is dedicated to living and acting on that truth in her life. She knows that only when she is loyal to her own needs can she truly give to another.

The Warrior is free to love the entire universe with her spirit, and individual humans according to her human preferences. Humans living in the Old Dream can never see who she is and how she dreams, so whenever possible she soars with fellow eagles in the New Dream, on the exhilarating updrafts of openhearted love and respect.

I hope you will join us at, where we are using the tools of the Toltec tradition, ancient and modern, to claim our freedom from the old dream of fear, and throw our hearts open to the world, love, life, and our own divinity.

(Adapted from The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, by Allan Hardman ~ available at Joydancer and all bookstores).

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Allan Hardman is an author and expert on personal and spiritual transformation, relationships, emotional healing-- and a Toltec Master in the lineage of don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements.™ Allan teaches in Sonoma County, CA, and from “The House of the Eagles,” his winter home in Chacala, Nayarít, Mexico. He guides Journeys of the Spirit to sacred sites in Mexico, and hosts wellness vacations in Chacala. He is the author of The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, and co-author of two books with Deepak Chopra, Caroline Myss, Dr. Andrew Weil, Prince Charles, and others. Visit Allan’s extensive website at, and TACO, his online spiritual membership community.