Joydancer Journey with Allan Hardman

Preparation for your Journey

Teotihuacán is a place of great beauty, magic and power. Little is known about the people who gathered there and built the pyramids, temples, and other beautiful buildings that make up the core of the old city. Surely, they were artists of the spirit, great Toltec visionaries with knowledge of astronomy, art, agriculture, spirituality, and, of course, building. Their city reached populations of perhaps 200,000 people, with sophisticated systems for water, sanitation, and food distribution, with a government directed by their spiritual leaders.

In the centuries after Teotihuacán was abandoned, the ruined city was visited by the Aztecs and the builders of Tula, and honored in their mythology as the place where civilization began. The awe-inspiring pyramid complex, an hour north of Mexico City, is now a beloved national park and is visited by tourists, masses of Mexican schoolchildren, and spiritual groups throughout the year.

Teotihuacán is affectionately known as “Teo” to most who live, work, and visit there. The Aztecs called the city “the Place of the Gods” to honor their mythology about its origins. For the purposes of the following modern Toltec journey to Teo, the interpretation is revised to “the Place Where Humans Awaken and Remember Their Divinity.”

Visioning the Original Majesty of Teotihuacán

Archaeologists have stabilized and rebuilt some of the edifices of Teo; however, they have not replaced the remaining plaster and murals that once graced all of the buildings there. The original builders covered the pyramids, temples, stairways, and priest houses with a thick layer of plaster, which was then painted white and decorated with murals and other brightly colored decorations.

The light of the sun is an important element of this ancient city, and to imagine it shimmering in the clear light of this high plateau is to dream unimaginable elegance. In addition, imagine rows of temple platforms on both sides of the mile-long Avenue of the Dead, with copal incense filling the air with its sweet smoke, and the magical music of flutes, drums, and voices singing spiritual praise. Thousands of people fill the avenue; priests, masters, apprentices, artists, and residents of the surrounding city, all here to share the glory and intent of their society.

The Home of the Sun

Most early cultures were very connected to the sun, and its seasons. In Teotihuacán, the light of the sun is unique and powerful, and the Pyramid of the Sun towers into the sky as though it were built as a ladder to the solar source. The sun represents spirit, the masculine element in creation, and the power of the sun and spirit are both very present in Teo. Of course, the feminine aspect is present here, also, in the earth, the Women’s Quarters, and the Pyramid of the Moon.

This journey through Teotihuacán follows the three masteries of the Toltec path. It begins in “hell” (the dream of the planet) with its judgments, attachments, and suffering, and travels through the stages of transformation, through the feminine – until the final triumph of leaping free of the dream, into the “black sun” (the source of creation).

This journey offers you opportunities for deep surrender, letting go of beliefs and attachments that do not serve you, and opening yourself to your joyful connection with life. Teotihuacán is a place of spiritual pilgrimage for many individuals and groups, especially with teachers in the lineage of don Miguel Ruiz.

Day One: Surrender and Surrender Again

Your spiritual journey to Teotihuacán begins in hell – in the Plaza of Quetzalcoatl at the south end of the Avenue of the Dead. This large plaza represents the dream of the planet, and the hell of judgment and fear that consumes most people’s lives. In the center of the plaza is a small platform, which represents your “island of safety” – built from the beliefs and opinions that define your identity. Your island is surrounded by the vast “sea of the unknown,” home of all the monsters that your mother warned were waiting for you if you broke the rules or went against your domestication.

This is your first surrender. In order to take this journey to the sun, you need to release your attachments to the ideas, concepts, and behaviors that you believe to keep you safe. Take a moment here, and consider the dangers and rewards. Note that safety is an illusion you have learned to believe. Perhaps you can think of two or three major beliefs or agreements that keep you stuck here in your life. When you are ready, release them (with love) and prepare to face the sea of the unknown.

The Leap into Quetzalcoatl

The feathered serpent awaits your next surrender. The entire length of the Avenue of the Dead represents the body of your powerful guide Quetzalcoatl, the two-headed serpent, who is waiting to digest away everything you believe yourself to be. Find your way down the steps of your island, and into the sea of the unknown. Feel the monsters (parasites) trying to stop you from breaking away. The Pyramid of Quetzalcoatl is directly ahead. Climb the steps slowly, strengthening your resolve to give up the illusion of control, and open to the unknown.

As you climb, feel the power of this ancient pyramid under your feet. Feel the power of those who built it for you to use in this moment of your expansion, and express your gratitude. You are climbing to the head of the serpent. When you reach the top, you will find its mouth open, waiting for you. Without letting your mind interfere, without letting doubt trouble your resolve, step to the top and throw yourself into the waiting mouth of Quetzalcoatl. Your surrender deepens.

The Angel of Death and Sacred Ground

Feel yourself entering the body of the serpent. The digestion has begun. As you move through the serpent, you find yourself looking down the long Avenue of the Dead, with the Pyramid of the Moon beckoning from the far end. As you walk slowly down the broad avenue, perhaps your pulse quickens, because you know that the angel of death is waiting for you at the river, the crossing point into sacred Teo ground.

You walk slowly, preparing yourself for yet another surrender. You can feel the strong energy of the angel of death in the distance, and you know she is going to demand that you surrender everything you have to her, before you can go on. Are you willing? Are you willing to release the illusion that any of it is yours to own in the first place? Will you look into her eyes and acknowledge her and express your gratitude for what she lends you, including your life itself? Prepare yourself as you walk.

As you approach the angel of death, know that you cannot fool her. Let her look you in the eye, and let go. If you are afraid, be afraid. Don’t try to hide it. If you are truly ready to let go of your illusions of control and ownership, look the angel in the eye, and let her see your resolve. She is standing at the river crossing into the sacred parts of Teotihuacán. As she nods to acknowledge your intention, you cross the river and continue your journey through the body of the feathered serpent, Quetzalcoatl.

Day Two: A Funeral, a Cleansing,
and the Deep Feminine

As you climb the steps preparing to descend into the Plaza of the Earth, look back. You can see hell in the distance, and your island of safety. You can still turn back, but this may be your last chance. It is your choice, it is safe there, and you don’t know what lies ahead. If you continue on this journey, the old you will die.

If you choose to deepen your surrender to the serpent, turn and walk into the Plaza of the Earth. It is time to honor your commitment to your transformation. The person you were in the old dream has died, and this is a time of honoring, gratitude, and respect. Find a place in the plaza where you can hold a private burial ceremony. Perhaps you create a small cross or marker from twigs or stones to mark the spot, and sit quietly in mourning of the passing of the old you. There is no hurry; take your time.

Celebrating the New Warrior

As you finish your ceremony and prepare to continue your journey, you are suddenly transported 2,000 years back in time. You see the pyramids and temples shining in the sun, decorated with brightly colored murals and motifs. You smell the incense, hear the music, and see the avenue lined with masters and students, welcoming and celebrating you. They offer you their love and wisdom, as they encourage you to continue. You realize that the Avenue of the Dead is truly the Avenue of Life.

Quetzalcoatl leads you to the Plaza of Water, where he begins to digest away negative energies and unwanted emotional memories. As you pass through the water, feel the release and healing in your emotional body, and your rebirth into a new dream. Take time, surrender to this place of the heart, and let the digestion be complete.

Deep into the Feminine

Your journey now takes you out of the Plaza of Water, and into the sacred feminine. You descent the steps, and pass through the entrance into the dim light of the women’s quarters. You open to access the deep feeling parts of you that have been denied and neglected for so many years. The energy from deep inside the earth mother enters you, and you merge with it, allowing it to awaken the profound truths of your feminine being. You are becoming more whole with each stage of your journey.

Filled with the energy of the Earth feminine, you bathe in the healing energies pouring from the wall of this sacred temple. As they pass through your mind and body, your release transcends experience and expectations, and you are transported into total oneness with the earth mother. You rest there, in peace. In time, you return to present awareness, and as you walk silently out into the bright Teotihuacán sunlight, your heart opens in forgiveness of all mothers, including your own.

Day Three: Redemption and Integration

As you return to the Avenue of the Dead, your journey through the serpent, Quetzalcoatl, takes you to the Plaza of Air. Breathe deeply, in gratitude for every breath of life-sustaining air you are offered in your new life. Breathe in the air with love, and breathe it out with love.

In this plaza you will use the rock of sexual healing and forgiveness to be born again into your new life. You approach the small pyramid, and stretch out your body in full contact with its stones. It has been prepared to receive you by your guides, and by thousands who have come before you.

If you have used your sexuality to bargain for love, if you feel guilty about abortions, or if your sexuality has been abused by you or others, release the memories, guilt, and self-judgement here in this place. It is old, it is over, and you are new. Do not carry any of the guilt or self-rejection past this point. You are perfect, you have always done your best, none of it was your fault, and it is time to forgive yourself in this sacred place and time. Take all the time you need, and know that even as you leave this place, the forgiveness and healing continues until it is done.

The Underworld of Forgotten Feelings

There is a place deep in you that has long been blocked off and forgotten. It is the origin of all the subtle feelings and truth that have risen in your body since the beginning of your life. When you were small, those feelings were expressed in their full intensity and power, but you were taught to block and repress them. You built a wall at your throat, so they could not come up and out where they would be rejected or shamed. It is time to break open that wall, trust your feelings, and allow them to be expressed in your life.

Your guides take you to the underworld, where the Toltecs buried their early constructions, art, and beliefs, and built new forms on top of them. The wall has been broken open here, and you see the treasures revealed. You are inspired to reveal your hidden treasures. You sit in silent meditation, observing how the block at your throat stops the truth of your belly and heart from rising into your awareness and into the world.

Your intention to free the authentic expression of who you are and how you feel is strong. You see and hear the old agreements you made to deny your feelings, and perhaps even feel or see the wall at your throat. In the quiet of the moment, and with the power of Teotihuacán supporting you, the old agreements shatter and the juicy truth of you is liberated for all to honor and enjoy.

The Fire Burns Illusions of Separation

Your digestion by Quetzalcoatl continues as you enter the Plaza of Fire. Here you will face your beliefs and illusions of separation, and recognize your oneness with all creation. What is your gender, and how do you identify with it? How does that identification separate you from others? How do you use your dream about “you” to deny your oneness with creation?

Throw yourself into the fire here. Let it burn away these illusions and lies that isolate you from life. You are life. You are the light. You are creation, and the force that animates creation. Any other belief is a lie. Burn yourself clear here. Use this place to return to wholeness, not only within yourself, but in the unity of oneness that is the spiritual presence in all of creation. This is the fire of the sun of Teotihuacán; it is the fire of the ancients, and it is alive for you here in this place.

The Moon: Second Head of the Serpent

With the heat from the fire of integration still warming your heart, you prepare yourself for the long walk to the second head of Quetzalcoatl at the Plaza of the Moon. There you will emerge into the light of your new world. To prepare yourself, you review everything you have done so far: You left your island of safety, and braved the sea of the unknown. You climbed to Quetzalcoatl and threw yourself into his mouth to begin your transformation. Surrender has followed surrender.

You faced the angel of death, and surrendered again. With every surrender, you have gained something precious: your life. You buried your old self in the Earth, in preparation for a new life, and were welcomed into Teo by the ancients. In each plaza, you healed, cleansed, changed agreements, opened to your depths, and liberated your truth. You are ready for the final release of the old you.

Your Walk with the Etheric Double

Ahead of you is the long, broad Avenue of the Dead. In the distance, the Pyramid of the Moon beckons you, and you are ready. You prepare by creating your “etheric double,” a replica of your physical self that will accompany you on this journey. As you walk in meditation to the moon, you inventory and remove any final limiting beliefs, agreements, fears, sorrows, stories, denials, addictions, and other lies that do not serve you—and place them in the etheric double.

As you begin your measured walk, the Avenue of the Dead is alive with visitors and vendors, but they are not in your world. Once again, you are a ghost, and you move through them without their awareness. You hear your shoes crunching in the gravel, and the sounds of the clay flutes and children around you, but your attention is focused only on your inventory. You scan your mind and emotional body, finding anything that does not serve you in your quest for absolute personal freedom.

The etheric double floats along beside you, receiving everything you are discarding. As you near the Plaza of the Moon, your pulse quickens, in anticipation of the powerful ceremony to come.

Emerging from the Serpent, the Double to the Sun

With deliberate steps, you climb the stairs to the Plaza of the Moon. You are emerging from the second head of Quetzalcoatl; your digestion is complete. Above you, the Pyramid of the Moon is alive in the strong Teo sun. As you approach an altar in the center of the plaza, you recognize your fellow travelers, gathering with you, for a special ceremony. It is time to send your etheric double, and everything it contains, to the sun.

You come close around the altar together, as a low hum begins to grow in the circle. The rose quartz crystal on the altar honors the feminine aspect of creation present here, and strengthens the vortex of energy opening in the center. The hum grows stronger, louder, and more powerful, until in one roar of power, each person in the circle throws his or her double into the vortex and up to the sun—to be burned in the fire of the sun’s love.

You are restored to the pure and simple truth of your divine perfection. A gentle song begins, and the circle shares the love and power of their journey together. The song celebrates the love awakening in the heart of each individual, and recognizes that Teotihuacán is truly “the Place Where Humans Awaken and Remember their Divinity.”

To celebrate the joy and liberation in your heart, you head for the Pyramid of the Moon, and climb its steep steps to the summit. The refreshing breeze is the perfect expression of what you have accomplished on your journey. You look out over the villages and the surrounding hills, and listen to the sounds of life drifting up from below. It is a very good day.

Day Four: The Ultimate Surrender
at the Pyramid of the Sun

A visit to “heaven” is the best way to follow your ceremony at the Pyramid of the Moon, and to prepare you for the Pyramid of the Sun! As you enter the Plaza of the Butterflies, you feel the soft presence of pure love. You are drawn to the center, and stand absorbing the sacred energy there. Your fellow travelers join you in a circle. There is nothing to say, and nothing to do—only to feel the presence of love in the place of heaven at Teo, and in your own heart.

As you continue in this special place, you are opening your heart and connecting with the sun. In the Toltec tradition, the sun is the source of all life on Earth, and you are on your way to merge with it. When you know it is time, you walk back out onto the Avenue of the Dead, and toward the towering Pyramid of the Sun. You walk once again in meditation, opening and preparing yourself for the ultimate surrender: the leap to the black sun.

The Black Sun: The Hole in the Veil

A Toltec mythology describes the sun as the light messenger of creation. Every ray of the sun’s light carries the message of a different form of life, which manifests itself as DNA. Every living being has its own unique ray of light from the sun, and its own unique DNA. The dream of the humans reflects back to the sun, and as the dream evolves, the sun changes its message. This is the time of the sixth sun, an important stage in the evolution of the human dream.

Manifested creation is the result of the sun dreaming. The unlimited potential for the dream is behind a veil, in the unmanifested side of the universe. There is a hold, through which the unmanifested becomes manifest—this is the black sun. As you walk toward the pyramid, you set your intent to leap out of this dream into the black sun, where you will experience the ultimate expansion of pure potentiality.

Preparing Yourself, Preparing the Pyramid

You climb the many steps slowly, contemplating your intent. As you walk around each level of the stepped pyramid, you connect with the pyramid, the sun, and the black sun beyond. You climb higher and around, higher and around. You are awakening the pyramid, creating the spiral of the DNA, releasing any last attachments, and calling down your ray of the sun.

As you climb the last steps and approach the center of the pyramid, you find once again that an altar has been prepared, and a powerful vortex is waiting for your energy. You sit down with your companions gathered there, and pour your personal intent into the vortex. You continue to release attachments that might hold you to the Earth, and your body begins to shake with the energy of the vortex. You are not sure what to expect, and that is good.

The Leap of Surrender into the Infinite

Suddenly, someone yells “now!” and you throw yourself into the vortex energy and leap to the sun. You do not know it yet, but there is no you. As you pass through the hole in the veil, you instantly expand into the totality of all that is, pure consciousness, absolute divine presence. The “lack of you” drifts there forever, until it is time to return to human form.

As your body stirs, you sit up and look around slowly. You have never seen this world before. It is brighter and more colorful than you remember. Your DNA is tingling from the update into the sixth sun. Your mind is more peaceful than you ever imagined possible. You have nowhere to go, and nothing to do, but to be right where you are in this moment.

Your heart sings in gratitude for the ancient artists of the spirit who created this place for you to experience this moment. You feel their presence, and their gratitude that you are here, a human awakening, and remember your divinity. You are a Toltec artist of the spirit now, and Teotihuacán is part of you. A butterfly appears, and lands on your hand. It is the absolute perfect expression of what you are feeling.

In time, you notice that your human self is very hungry, and you remember that there are great enchiladas and tacos waiting for you back in another world. You gather up this new dream of heaven on Earth, and as you walk back down the pyramid, you carry the dream in your heart—where it stays for the rest of your life.

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